The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the check this site out sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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